love me

Ah!! I HAVENT BLOGGED IN DAYS! I've been meaning to, really, it's just that I've been really tired, and.. lazy :(. Hm.. lets start from thursday!

I had another really terrible nightmare while I was asleep Wednesday night, and this one was by far one of the most frightening that I've ever had. Even recalling it in my writing sends chills down my back.. As usual, the dream skipped around a lot, and at one point I was at a really ghetto, classroom arcade and I was gloating over my 50 coin jackpot haha. Anyways, in the last part of my dream, I was walking with Angela Han on a 6 train subway platform/station. It wasn't your regular station though- it was a very chic, gothic looking one. All the tiles were made of black glass, and it was kind of elevated, like attached to the side of a building or something. I knew it was elevated because towards the left end, there was a gap where you could look down and see the 940349 stories under you. Apparently, the platform was a common suicide location, and since it was a dream, you know, it wasnt anything out of the ordinary. I would not see, but somehow feel that people near me were jumping off of that small crevice, and I could hear the thud of their bodies as it hit the pavement. So Angela and I were walking and talking, just ignoring everything around us, when I see a 30 something year old woman with curly blond hair, blue eyes, and crimson colored lips hanging off of the ledge. Her bag is next to her, and shes just kind of dangling there with her arms holding onto the tiles while her body is hanging down. She's about to kill herself, and out of nowhere, I feel very alarmed, like this woman is more important than the others or something. I try to reach out to her, but at that very instant, she sticks her tongue out at me, gives me a half smile, and drops. I hear her piercing scream as she falls, and the hard thud of her body as it hits the pavement a thousand feet below. I woke up from my nightmare scared crapless, and I had the hardest time falling asleep after, in fear that she might appear in my dream again. On my way to work a couple of hours later, I wrote a facebook status about it, and a LOT of people commented on it, reassuring me that everything would be okay and that they would pray for me. It was really unexpected, and I felt a little foolish for writing about something so private, but I realized that these people really cared, and that they were trying to help me. I haven't prayed at home in a while, but on Wednesday night, I prayed with a new found fervor, asking God to protect me from such vicious dreams. I dont know if this is me being delusional, but after praying in my bed, I felt a warm kind of peace envelop me as I fell asleep that night.

Low and behold, my prayers were answered, as I ended up having a very normal dream about getting my eyebrows threaded. I literally prayed as soon as I woke up, praising God for delivering me from such terrible things. I dont know if it was the prayer or what, but I felt pretty wonderful that entire day :) I went to work in a delightful mood, and the kids were being alright, even though it was a TKD day. They didnt whine as much, and after I dropped Kevin off, I took Eugene home, and although he must've been tired, he was being really cute and was being really talkative. Although I was on my phone the entire time and just answered him with bored "hmm .. really"s or "cool"s, he kept talking to me and was just being cute. He called my braces "those fossil things" and said that girls were "touchy" cause they always asked others how they looked hahaha.

Anyways, Friday was playdate day so I took the kids to the zoo. My feet were sore,the kids were being crazy and the sun was blazing down on my face but it was okay because it was payday HEHEHEH :). Anyways, after, I met up with Sharon and some of the minkwon kids at Red Mango in flushing. Ah. It was so awkward :(. Hopefully I'll get to know some of them better in the future. Sharon and I sprinted to the bus and made it to church at 730, although there wasnt really a prayer meeting to go :/. Pastor Stephen Jo spoke as our guest speaker, and I dont know about everyone else, but I thought he was so funny! I kept laughing out loud.. and I was the only one. Ugh, embarrassing! I think that he thought I was mocking him, but I genuinely liked his sermon, and I wish I had taken notes :(. For the past couple of weeks, I've been just bumming after FNA, but I played volleyball this week, and I am so damn glad that I did. Although it was for only 30 minutes or so, we played with a great group of people, and it was just really funny and blew off all the stress that I pent up this week. And to top things off, Aaron bought me a hoodie from UMich :)! Awesomeeeee.

Today, I was supposed to go to a BBQ or the beach, but both events got canceled so I ended up spending the day with my parents. I bought them (yes, I PAID :)!) Sizzlers for lunch, then we ran a few errands and I ended up getting a new Longchamp bag because my mom had some store credit that she desperately needed to spend. Afterwards, I went home and tried (and desperately failed) to learn calligraphy with the new pen and ink set that I bought. I just came home from exercising with my parents, and I actually ran two laps without stopping today! Whoohooooo. That's the equivalent of about 1.2 miles, finally making some progress after drowning in lazy mode after volleyball gym.

I AM SO EXCITED FOR TOMORROW BECAUSE I AM SEEING MY LOVE IVY WONG FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE SHE CAME BACK FROM MISSIONS. SHE, SHARON AND I ARE GOING TO WATCH A MOVIE AFTER CHURCH! Yay :). I love her. So much! She will never read this, but to my dearest Ivy, I love you! Thank you for being in my life =).

Goodnight, world!