brighter than sunshine

Lately, I've been filled with an overwhelming feeling of wanderlust. I've grown so sick of being cooped up in suburban New York, I need to go out and get away from everything here for a little bit. In high school, (well in mine at least), the curriculum is set up so that in the humanities department, freshman year consists mostly of ancient world history/literature, sophomore year is modern world history/literature, and junior year is american history. In AP English, we've been reading a lot of classic American literature, and a lot of the settings take place towards the South and the West. I know I shouldn't judge based on simple readings, but the homey, unsettled, almost deserted prarie lands appeal to me so much. When I'm bored, I even go as far as to do a little bit of research about the Midwest/West. I suppose to most people, the dry soil, humid weather and sparsely populated towns wouldn't garner much interest, but with all of my heart, I want to go and visit them. I would like to go to Kansas, perhaps the Carolinas, Dakotas, Iowa. I want to camp out in the vast plains, soak in the fresh air, run on the neverending grasslands, watch the stars at night. I'm so sick of being cooped up in the city. That's partially why I'm really hoping and praying to win that scholarship to go to Japan. Although it is one of the most technologically advanced places in the world, the country has managed to find a unique balance between the faced paced modern world and the old nation's traditional values and culture. If I get in, I'll probably be staying somewhere near Hiroshima, not Tokyo. I long for days when I can just sit and breathe, maybe listen to some music and take out my watercolors. Get away from everything for a little bit. I need time for myself.

all is love

ecclesia #9.
Once again, God moves.

transition

To tired to do anything other than list:
School-
ap lit essay
physics quiz
latin exam
math exam
us history exam
french exam
read "a lost lady" and answer questions
lab
do the damn physics homework for once
ushw8

Things to buy-
chocolate for seekers
top coat
tights
new tweezers
toiletries for ecclesia :)
all the beautiful goods in my shopping cart at f21
my friggen polaroid

Other things to do when I have time-
sat I, sat II us, sat II lit prep
pray
paint, please please please.
write a couple of letters
figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life

polaroid

So.. I fall to society's pressures once again hahaha this time I'm going to (hopefully) be jumping on the instant camera bandwagon. Way back in the day, I had two different polaroids, but the whereabouts of both of those cameras now remain a big blank in the back of my mind. All these beautiful images on tumblr and other websites have inspired me to save up and buy a new toy for myself :). I've already decided to buy a Fujifulm camera instead of a Polaroid because fuji is much more accessible and the film doesn't cost $3 a photo.. The question is, which camera?!


The instax mini 25 or the instax 210?! Both are relatively nice cameras, and the film costs around the same price.. $15 or so for two packs of 10 photos each. The instax is a much smaller camera, with a smaller photo. Although its cute, slightly less inexpensive and easier to carry around, I'm reluctant to buy it because a) its the camera that everyone has and b) the film is just so damn tiny. The instax 210 is a much bigger camera, and as one review says, "it isn't a one hand camera". The pictures are set in a horizontal frame, and the image comes out wider than those on the 25. However, two things bother me about this camera too. The first is that the flash is perpetual, so you can't shut it off, ever. Hahaha bummmmmmer! Also, if I were to take a photo vertically, it would come out weird, with the thicker border to the right or left of the image.. Hmmmm :(

little house

I love this place
But it's haunted without you
My tired heart
Is beating so slow

Our hearts sing less than
We wanted, we wanted
Our hearts sing 'cause
We do not know, we do not know

To light the night, to help us grow
To help us grow
It is not said, I always know

You can catch me
Don't you run, don't you run
If you live another day
In this happy little house
The fire's here to stay

To light the night, to help us grow
To help us grow
It is not said, I always know

Please don't make a fuss, it won't go away
The wonder of it all
The wonder that I made
I am here to stay

I am here to stay

by Amanda Seyfried

ocean eyes

I want to go to Long Beach
I want to go to a creperie
I want to go to the Brooklyn Bridge
I want to go to 16 Handles
I want to go to the Hall of Science
I want to go to Lake Tahoe
I want to go to an ancient bookstore
I want to go to Michaels
I want to go to Robert Moses
I want to go to Luxembourg
I want to go to the place with $40 burgers
I want to go to J.Crew
I want to go to Ecclesia
I want to go to MOMA
I want to go to Central Park
I want to go to Juniors
I want to go to Boston
I want to go to see an aurora borealis
I want to go watch a sunset
I want to go watch a sunrise
I want to go to a beautiful countryside
I want to go to panera
I want to go to Fire Island
I want to go to Williamsburg
I want to go to Ellis Island
I want to go to Canada
I want to go to Ernest Hemingway's house in Key West
I want to go to Yoho National Park
I want somebody to go to these places with me.

sitting, waiting, wishing

Whats the point in trying to move on when the past won't let you sleep at night.

peter pan

"The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings."

love enough

Family first.
My family means more to me than words can fathom.

slow dancing in a burning room

The new term has officially begun! Bittersweet, as expected haha. My schedule remained surprisingly unchanged, with the exception of a few classes. I actually got biomedical ethics as my elective. I put it down as my third choice after robotics and leadership (easiest classes) because I thought I would get at least one of the first two! Juniors and seniors get priority, after all -_-. Anyways, I was pretty bummed, but the teacher is Ms. Cooper, who is an absolute pleasure to be with, although she does not recognize me at all from 1st band biology first term freshman year. I also got back several of my finals today, and ughhhhhhhh. I did well on French, but I screwed up Physics and I actually under-65 failed Latin. I knew I did terribly on the latter, but I was hoping for at least a passing grade! Oh well, I guess my average will pay the consequences of my lethargic nature.

On a different note, the weather's been being a complete ass lately. The snow was pretty the first several times, but now it's just gotten to be such a hassle and inconvenience. It's a bother to shovel and it's really so hazardous to both pedestrians and drivers. Especially with the oncoming sleet/ice/snowstorm, its going to be an absolute disaster. After school today, I almost fell on my butt after every five steps. Not good. Hopefully NYC schools will be closed tomorrow. Not just for the sake of having no school, but for the overall safety and well being of everyone.