Tuesday, May 31, 2011

in the middle


Dear Townsend Harris,
You know, not to be bitter or anything, but I realized today that I gave up a great number of dreams and aspirations because of you. Prior to my freshman year avec vous, I was seriously considering pursuing photography and the fine arts in the future. However, with each passing day, I found that as I grew more preoccupied with you and your ever increasing demands, I had less and less time for my other interests. I quit art school because I needed time to study, I couldn't take out my paints without feeling guilty because you know, I could've used that time to work on my collateral or finish homework assignments. My camera remained safe in her case, where at times she would remain for days, weeks, even months. I was always aware of my diminishing social/personal life, but the realization hit me today, when I was looking at some wonderful photography. I thought to myself, hey, I could do that too! But then I realized that 1. I had no time, 2. I had no time, and 3. I had no time. You know, as if that isn't bad enough, you stole away literature from me. Leisurely reading, one of my favorite pastimes that was once a simple commodity, is now something that I take for granted only over extended breaks or summer vacation. But, enough about that. I can spend ages rambling on about you and your damn neediness if you let me. I just wanted to you know, these past 3+ years better pay off in the end. Please :(~

Love always,
GEEEEENA

gravity

Have you ever momentarily fallen in love with a stranger? It is quite an interesting feeling.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

untouchable

Life at the moment is very confusing. I want to cry and lie on my bed and fall asleep and wake up in a couple of months. In fact, for the past few days, I've actually willed myself to fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow because I know that if I don't, too many unpleasant thoughts will overwhelm me and I won't be able to sleep at all. I don't want to think anymore. I just want to love and be loved and understand what is going on with everything in my life. I just want to know that I have a bright, welcoming future ahead of me. That is all I ask for.

Monday, May 23, 2011

I am such a crybaby.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

more than life

"Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love."
Lamentations 4:32

Sunday, May 15, 2011

always

"A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. But now you know there was a man named Jack Dawson and that he saved me... in every way that a person can be saved. I don't even have a picture of him. He exists now... only in my memory. "
- Rose

Saturday, May 14, 2011

yellow

Look at the stars,
look how they shine for you,
and everything you do.

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For you I'd bleed myself dry.


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Lord, please listen to my selfish prayer. It is justifiable by no means, but please, please listen.

Friday, May 13, 2011

are you a believer?

Mark, thank you for giving me faith on a day that was filled with trials and troubles . You will always be in my prayers, and I can't wait until the day when we will meet again. Stay strong!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Monday, May 2, 2011

Jar of Hearts

I guess I expected too much.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

sweet and low

Just floating around, waiting for change.