here, here, and here

It's all too often nowadays that I find myself asking where in the world the time has gone.. It's already finals week, meaning that in just just a few days, I'm going to be skipping into the lovely world of second semester junior year. It seems like summer was only yesterday. Oh sweet sweet summer.
June, when I was counting down the days till the end of sophomore year, when I was so damn excited to hit up Barnes and Nobles every day and study for the SATs. July, when I actually studied by myself, when I stayed at open gym at church till late at night on Sundays and when I was left bored all too many times as my friends diligently attended prep schools.. August, when half my life was centered around Ecclesia and the other half was intent on making the best out of the few days of freedom left while secretly hoping for school to start.. September, when I promised myself that I would make the best out of junior year.. I still remember on the first day of school, I was riding the bus with a friend, and I recall telling her that I hoped junior year would go by as quickly and painlessly as possible, yet at the same time I would be willing to relive it again and again, only because after that we would only have another year left in high school.
These past six months have honestly been some of the most excruciating months of my (teenage) life, I would like to say. From trying to fix my ruined GPA to trying to maintain a somewhat existent social life with the dread of the SATs always looming over me, I haven't been in the clearest state of mind. I've let some things preside over others and let others linger for more than their welcomed stay. Without going into too much detail, I think that throughout these past three or four months, my mental state of being has been thrashed and broken more times that I can count. I've made the mistake of trusting someone with so much, only to be disappointed and let down when I realized that they apparently don't hold the value of words to the same degree as I do. Empty reassurances, empty comforts, empty promises.
I don't really know where I'm going with this post, as per usual. However, since it is the beginning of something new (insignificant as it may seem) I think I will propose some changes to myself, and try to alleviate some of these burdens from my back so that I can live properly.